Midquarter Slump

The excitement of starting college has kind of wore off. Not that I'm depressed or anything, just feel a little bored. Actually I'm like really bored.

Because I joined CCS (which was confirmed earlier last week, yay!), my schedule changed so that I only have 3 classes. And none of them are real bro. Math has all exams online, with no midterms or finals. CCS 1A and 1L are not graded, and everything is self-paced. I have so much free time and I don't know what to do with it. Even my ping pong app is starting to get boring. I don't feel motivated to apply to more internships or research. I have 6 total hours of class a week, and no school on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Lately, I've been playing video games to get over my boredom, but I feel icky afterward because I know that it's not the best way to spend my time. I just beat Sekiro yesterday; lowkey think that it was a little too easy but whatever.

But worst of all, I met this girl last week and I can't find the confidence to talk to her again. I told Mason my criteria for the perfect girl a few weeks ago, and she literally fits every description. Perhaps I like her for superficial reasons then, but I really can't tell. I saw her maybe about 4 times this week, still haven't talked to her again. I think this is the main reason for my slump. AHHH!!!!

Anyway, I just gotta be more confident and cheerful and all that. So yeah, good luck future me.

Looking Forward

I read that it's good to reflect on all the things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful that my parents were able to visit me last weekend; I had a lot of fun going out to eat and just talking about life back home. I think I've forgotten a lot about my old self.

I'm grateful for the friends I've made so far in college, and also for the mentors at church. I'm playing ping pong with Wesley on Friday, so looking forward to that.

I'm grateful to be in CCS, there are a lot of cool things I'm learning, and I'm excited for next quarter's classes. Speaking of next quarter, I'm doubling my workload; 6 classes and 24 units. A true CCS kid.

SOOOOOOO, I think I'll get better soon. These things happen from time to time.

Edit (two days later):

I just met Jay Freeman, the guy famous for jailbreaking iPhones (I used to love that stuff back in middle school). He gave a talk about some really complicated cryptocurrency and distributed systems stuff, and I feel so much imposter syndrome by being in that room. There were only 4 other people (this was for CCS kids), and I was the only one who wasn't asking lots of questions. But still, it feels cool getting "special" priviledge by getting invited to this talk.